Can't I just graduate already?

To put it simply, I'm done. I want out. First week of senior year and I'm already waking up at 6 am pondering major life decisions and freaking out about all the work I have to get done. So I'm going to take this opportunity to update this thing instead.

I'm doing an independent research project in biology, ironically enough looking at the factors involved in chondrogenesis and cartilage differentiation. Maybe I can find a way to grow some for myself in a dish? I'm really excited to be doing it but right now I have this massive proposal just looming over my head. And it's really no fun at all. As soon as I think I've found something that ties the two primary factors I'm looking at together, I find some article that has already tested that link and I'm back to square one. My brain is about to explode.


Then there's the dance department. I'm taking their anatomy class this semester. Basically, I'm relearning everything everything from Animal Phys last fall but in a turned around and slightly wrong way. And every time I answer a question, I'm met with a "how did you know that?!" from the professor. So it should, in theory at least, be an easy class but it's so freaking full of busy work. I spent three hours yesterday coloring in my coloring book. SUCH A WASTE OF MY LIFE. Because coloring in cartilage cells (I just love how everything is coming together...) is really going to help me learn about them? I'm also enjoying all the talk about how the hip is such a strong joint and how they don't usually see cartilage problems until people are at least middle aged. Does that mean I'm going to kick it at 34? Because I'm pretty sure my cartilage started falling apart when I was 17... There was also a nice dig at hip issues when the professor said "if you're overweight, you'll usually run into these problems sooner." Ha. Thanks.

The dance department also apparently thinks I'm still a cripple. I can't wait to get out of here and be somewhere where NO ONE knows about my hip stuff. Because I'm getting really sick of getting looked over for casting, presumably because they still think I'm fragile and something that they need to be careful with. I promise, I'm done being broken. It's either that response, the "oh, well we're just worried because....you know, you were injured for so long" or the "well, you're too much of a ballet/modern dancer" when auditioning for a modern/ballet piece. Getting real old.


My hips honestly feel fantastic though. I'm dancing 4-6 hours everyday, Monday-Friday and feel great. We have screenings for anatomy in two weeks and I'm really curious to see if there's any obvious differences between the right and the left (other than my goofy uneven turnout) and off from "normal". Like really really curious. I'm also predicting that not only will they have a field day with that and my uneven turnout but also with my assembled-backwards knees. We shall see...