Saturday, February 21, 2009

It's February.

Almost March, actually.

I was thinking about it and realized that Mr. Lefty will be 6 months post-surgery in about a week. Wow. Time flies. I've been dancing again for almost 3 months now, the same amount of time I was out for. So I've got no more excuses--I should be just about back to where I was. I feel like I am--I'm not hesitating anymore, I'm attacking things again, I finally got falling out of my system (in the ballet res auditions of course but at least it's out of my system now...), and I'm feeling good. The only thing I'm still struggling with really is holding my turnout and getting my extensions back up there--it was a good 6 months before surgery though that nothing was going higher than degage and it's only with this surgery that I have close to 90 degrees of rotation on the left, so I'm sure it will come with time. That and my balance on the left...we were doing partnered pirrouettes the other day in pointe class and I couldn't turn right because my balance was such a mess on the left leg, so I had to be a lefty turner. It better come with time.

It really feels close to 100%, as close to 100% as I think it ever will and ever could be. I sometimes forget that I ever even had that surgery. Then I see the scars and I remember or just get really confused for a second before remembering, and then I just feel like an idiot.


Mr. Righty is still far from fantastic. I see Kocher in a couple of weeks, hoping he'll have some idea of where to go next. I've been in PT again for a few weeks now and, while they've yet to give up on me, I'm about to give up on myself. I've been dealing with this for too long. My psoas is still angry as all hell and the cortisone shot didn't help that. It got rid of the nasty pinching feeling inside the joint but my psoas is still not a happy camper. PT has tried stretching it but, when you're so flexible already, it's hard to stretch things. We've tried strengthening it but anything that really works it causes it to catch and snap and get really sore. They've tried taping it which helps but only until the tape falls off. I don't know, I'm kind of ready to just give up on it for the time being. It doesn't bother me too much once I get warm in class, it's after class that I really pay for it and for the first few exercises at the barre that I really hate it. I'm also still scared to land on it, because it feels so similar to how it did. But I can deal with it and it's not getting any worse. We'll see how long I can put up with this.